When Families Fall Out Over an Inheritance: Is Mediation the Answer?

If you are in a dispute with a sibling, a step-parent or an executor over a will or an estate, going to court is rarely the best first step. Mediation usually resolves these disputes faster, at a fraction of the cost, and with a better chance of keeping the family on speaking terms.

This article was first written in collaboration with Stuart Lawrence of Mediator Locator, and has been adapted for Culver Law by Michael Culver.

Why do families fall out over inheritances?

Most inheritance disputes are not really about money. A will is often read as a final verdict on a relationship, so an unequal share or a surprise beneficiary can reopen old rivalries and grievances.

Common triggers include:

• a late change to a will, especially during illness or dementia
• concerns that a parent was pressured, or lacked capacity, when signing
• a second marriage or blended family where children feel overlooked
• an executor who is slow, secretive or seen as taking sides
• a carer, partner or dependant left out who feels a promise was broken

What is a probate caveat, and why does it matter?

A caveat is a notice lodged with the Probate Registry that stops a grant of probate being issued. It is a quick way for someone to raise concerns about a will before the estate is distributed.

Caveats are being used more often. They can protect a genuine claim, but they can also freeze an estate for months and harden positions on both sides. That is often the point at which mediation can help most.

What is wrong with going straight to court?

Litigation is built to produce a winner and a loser. That suits some cases, but in family disputes it tends to:

• take a year or more to reach a hearing
• run up legal costs that can eat into the estate everyone is arguing about
• put private family matters into a public courtroom
• leave relationships damaged for good

The courts also now expect parties to consider mediation before and during proceedings. Refusing it without good reason can lead to costs penalties.

How is mediation different?

Mediation is a private, confidential meeting led by an independent mediator. The mediator does not take sides or impose a decision. They help each person explain what matters to them and work towards an agreement they can all accept.

The benefits are practical:

• Speed: most mediations take place within weeks and are completed in a single day.
• Cost: a fraction of the cost of a contested trial.
• Control: the parties decide the outcome, not a judge.
• Flexibility: solutions a court could not order, such as an apology, a family heirloom, or a staged payment.
• Privacy: what is said stays in the room.

Does mediation actually work?

In our experience, many inheritance disputes settle at or shortly after mediation, even where the parties started far apart. The key is being heard. Once people feel listened to, it becomes much easier to talk about practical solutions.

Mediation works best when:

• everyone is willing to take part in good faith
• each party has good legal advice beforehand
• the mediator understands wills, trusts, tax and capacity issues in depth

It is not right for every case. Where there are allegations of fraud, or someone refuses to engage, court may still be needed. Even then, mediation can narrow the issues and reduce costs.

How can Culver Law help?

Our mediation service is led by Dawn De Coteau, head of our Private Client Disputes team, who qualified as a mediator with the ADR Group in 2014 and has mediated over 20 disputes. She works alongside Michael Culver, a CEDR-accredited mediator and Chartered Tax Adviser with over 20 years' experience in wills, trusts, estates and the Court of Protection.

That combination matters. We can spot capacity, tax and trust issues that could undermine a settlement, and help the parties reach an agreement that will hold up in practice.

We offer mediation at our offices in London, Cambridge and St Albans, at another venue, or online.

If you are facing a dispute over a will, estate or trust, find out more about our mediation service or contact us for a confidential discussion.